Performance anxiety? No, I’m not like that!

Performance anxiety. I know that some get it sometimes, and for others it may ruin life in total. I have planned to address it in a section later on. To describe it carefully and refer to different articles and others’ advice on how to handle it. Because I’m not such a type of person who gets performance anxiety. Not at all. I’m more laid back and cool.

The fact that more than two weeks has passed and did not record episodes as planned, it has nothing to do with stressing about the post. I have thought. Until today when I told two of my loved ones that I got stuck with the recordings. The response was immediate. “But mom, just do what you say we will do when we get stuck.” That’s when I remembered that I’m certainly a person who gets performance anxiety. Even if I do not like the idea, it has happened before.

The unrecorded episodes have haunted and rattle their chains in almost everything I’ve done last week. And took all the energy out of me.

Why right now?
One factor that might be of significance is that I received amazing feedback on the posts I published. I just got the response I was hoping for when I started thinking about a blog. Some of you who look or read have met me “in reality” recently, and only then the penny has dropped. Thus you who are looking on youtube exist in reality. Thus you’ve listened to some of what I said.

Surely it’s strange, when I hear that I’m contributing something, I start making new demands on me. Obligations to perform better than hitherto. No one has said, “Vera, now you have to snap up and get better” and yet that’s happening in my head.

Well, what happened?
Okay, anxiety is probably a too strong word. What happens is that I postpone the recording. Make up a lot of reasons to postpone it. Not only do I think about the recording, lots of other things pop up and aspire as important things to worry about. And when I put all my energy on something else, there is no chance of performing any recording.

The advantage of postponing it is that I do not need to see if I reach my new higher level of demands. The downside is that it takes so much energy and I get nothing done. Not even the things I usually do without any effort. I do nothing and yet feel completely exhausted.

Six advice for managing performance anxiety
Here are the advice I usually give in terms of performance anxiety and now it’s time for me to listen to them myself. Some of them have I received from others.

  1. What’s the purpose of what you want to achieve? At home it’s often questions about school work. The purpose might be to get a certain grade, to show the teacher that you master a particular subject or to make as little effort as possible and yet avoid failing a class. Remember the purpose otherwise you may make the task of something bigger and more important than it needs to be.
  2. Lower the bar. Did you have too high ambitions with the task? Dare to change purpose and lower the bar. You will get lots of new opportunities to perform at higher levels.
  3. Refuse now or never! Have you been told that it is now it’s about to perform? To get the grade you want, to get where you want and so on? Forget about it! So far I have lived that I’ve met people who managed to get where they want to, even if they failed their initial chances.
  4. Just do it! It’s usually more important to get it done, than to make it perfect.
  5. Just do it!
  6. Just do it!

Now it is done!
What a relief. Tonight I’ll sleep well.

Whether someone is looking at this episode or not, the recording has filled my purpose. I have finished the none-recording period. Now I can continue to record the episodes I planned and I can write new ones. I have lowered my own bar. And I think you and other people are usually kind and forgiving, you will give me new chances to share other things I’ve learned. Now I have done it!

Links and references can wait for later episodes of performance anxiety and how it can be managed. This episode is not at that level. When I think about it, the best thing is that nobody sees this post, because then I’ve achieved my purpose without anyone knowing that I’m one of those who can get performance anxiety. It’s the advantage of publishing post late at night!

Be kind to yourself AND to me!

See you!


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