Thousand thoughts and no one comes out

What is published here, is based on how I function as gifted, even though I know that everyone who is gifted doesn’t function as I do. Among other things, when it comes to the speed of thoughts and speech and this with being “too much” that I mentioned in a previous episode. There are those where it is not visible or heard as much on the outside, what is going on inside. Below is an example of a situation where the difference can be clear.

Thinks of more steps than others
To my colleagues and my boss, I have explained how I function during problem solving or idea generation in group. It sounded like this when I explained “You know at a meeting where we sit and talk about something. Meanwhile someone talks, you can think of a couple of steps forward, based on what that person says. When the person has finished talking, one could say what you thought and the others around the table have sometimes thought about similar paths, or a couple of steps in another direction.

When we sit and talk, my thoughts rush off, not just two or three steps but maybe seven, eight steps. And then when I open my mouth and say how I think the eighth step, it will be for most completely unrelated. Although in my mind there is a red thread that leads to what I say.

When this happens, that I say something that cannot be understood based on what we are talking about, tell me! Tell me so that I can try to explain step by step.” A lot of times, colleagues have done so, and then it works for me to work in a group.

Careful thinking of everything takes time
There are gifted people who, unlike me, want to consider all the options carefully before commenting the subject. Based on a question raised at a meeting, they can find that there are ten possible solutions to it. Not only that. They also think of every possible solution from ten different perspectives. Weighs pros and cons. Thinking through the consequences. Then when they thought about all the options, they go through everything again to make sure they did not forget any aspect.

This means that when most people have thought about a few options, the person has carefully gone through ten times ten options. Thoroughly. A statement from such a person is really thought out. If he or she gets the opportunity to say so. That is if the discussion haven’t already gone on to other topics.

Being a person who considers subjects so thoroughly must sometimes be annoying. Especially as quickly and loudly, are often rewarded in meetings. Imagine yourself thinking about the matter more than everyone else and you will not be able to say what you have come up with. Or if it’s already made a decision that you know wont work. Or what it’s like to be such a person?

Are you gifted and work in that way? How is it? For me it’s hard to imagine how it may be, so please describe! I want to understand. What do you think is the best thing about functioning as you do?

See you!



Performance anxiety? No, I’m not like that!

Performance anxiety. I know that some get it sometimes, and for others it may ruin life in total. I have planned to address it in a section later on. To describe it carefully and refer to different articles and others’ advice on how to handle it. Because I’m not such a type of person who gets performance anxiety. Not at all. I’m more laid back and cool.

The fact that more than two weeks has passed and did not record episodes as planned, it has nothing to do with stressing about the post. I have thought. Until today when I told two of my loved ones that I got stuck with the recordings. The response was immediate. “But mom, just do what you say we will do when we get stuck.” That’s when I remembered that I’m certainly a person who gets performance anxiety. Even if I do not like the idea, it has happened before.

The unrecorded episodes have haunted and rattle their chains in almost everything I’ve done last week. And took all the energy out of me.

Why right now?
One factor that might be of significance is that I received amazing feedback on the posts I published. I just got the response I was hoping for when I started thinking about a blog. Some of you who look or read have met me “in reality” recently, and only then the penny has dropped. Thus you who are looking on youtube exist in reality. Thus you’ve listened to some of what I said.

Surely it’s strange, when I hear that I’m contributing something, I start making new demands on me. Obligations to perform better than hitherto. No one has said, “Vera, now you have to snap up and get better” and yet that’s happening in my head.

Well, what happened?
Okay, anxiety is probably a too strong word. What happens is that I postpone the recording. Make up a lot of reasons to postpone it. Not only do I think about the recording, lots of other things pop up and aspire as important things to worry about. And when I put all my energy on something else, there is no chance of performing any recording.

The advantage of postponing it is that I do not need to see if I reach my new higher level of demands. The downside is that it takes so much energy and I get nothing done. Not even the things I usually do without any effort. I do nothing and yet feel completely exhausted.

Six advice for managing performance anxiety
Here are the advice I usually give in terms of performance anxiety and now it’s time for me to listen to them myself. Some of them have I received from others.

  1. What’s the purpose of what you want to achieve? At home it’s often questions about school work. The purpose might be to get a certain grade, to show the teacher that you master a particular subject or to make as little effort as possible and yet avoid failing a class. Remember the purpose otherwise you may make the task of something bigger and more important than it needs to be.
  2. Lower the bar. Did you have too high ambitions with the task? Dare to change purpose and lower the bar. You will get lots of new opportunities to perform at higher levels.
  3. Refuse now or never! Have you been told that it is now it’s about to perform? To get the grade you want, to get where you want and so on? Forget about it! So far I have lived that I’ve met people who managed to get where they want to, even if they failed their initial chances.
  4. Just do it! It’s usually more important to get it done, than to make it perfect.
  5. Just do it!
  6. Just do it!

Now it is done!
What a relief. Tonight I’ll sleep well.

Whether someone is looking at this episode or not, the recording has filled my purpose. I have finished the none-recording period. Now I can continue to record the episodes I planned and I can write new ones. I have lowered my own bar. And I think you and other people are usually kind and forgiving, you will give me new chances to share other things I’ve learned. Now I have done it!

Links and references can wait for later episodes of performance anxiety and how it can be managed. This episode is not at that level. When I think about it, the best thing is that nobody sees this post, because then I’ve achieved my purpose without anyone knowing that I’m one of those who can get performance anxiety. It’s the advantage of publishing post late at night!

Be kind to yourself AND to me!

See you!


You’re just too much!

“You’re just too much!” I’ve heard that comment in all sorts of variants. “Stop being so enthusiastic!” “You can’t feel for everything.” “No one else cares about it.” “But it wasn’t that remarkable.” A lot of comments sometimes combined with rolling their eyes and deep sighs.

And I feel that I usually hold myself back. Should I express how I really feel, what they called my enthusiasm, would appear to be pale. And the pace I adjust to. Most people have no idea that it feels to me like the rabbit in Disney’s movie about the sloth (linked below).

When I started reading on giftedness and taking part of the experience of others, I understood that it is quite common to be “too much” when being gifted. One possible explanation may be what psychiatrist and psychologist Kazimerz Dabrowski calls overexitabilities. In Swedish, you usually translate it into intensities.

Five intensities
Dabrowski divided the intensities into five areas. The explanations below are my interpretations of what I read.

  1. Intellectual intensity. An intense attention and curiosity. An urge to understand how things work. Intellectual intensity is not the same as intellectual ability. Intensity is rather the engine that drives the gifted to want to know more and constantly learning new.
  2. Psychomotor intensity. The energy of the body that makes it necessary to be in motion. A capacity to be physically active and more energetic than most. It is seen in motion patterns, how you talk, sit, eat. In all physically there is a greater intensity.
  3. Sensual intensity. Increased sensitivity of all the senses. Which makes everything feel, hear, smell, taste and look more.
  4. Intensity in fantasy / visualization. Higher ability to imagine what’s not yet created, associate freely, daydream and visualize, and to “disappear” in other thoughts.
  5. Emotional intensity. Intense feelings of joy and concern, extreme heights and valleys emotionally. Greater responsiveness to small shades.

HSP – highly sensitive persons
Some of the intensities are in line with what is called “High Sensitive Person” HSP. This is an area I haven’t read much about, but it often appears in talks with gifted people who say HSP gave them new insights.

Have you heard or felt that you are too much in different ways? Do you hold yourself back? Or not?

See you!


Link to more information about Dabrowski’s overexitabilities

With the link below I have not said that my pace is more right than anyone else’s. Just that we have different pace:


Dangerous with too little stimulus

If there isn’t enough new learning, the stimulus sinks below a critical level and you begin to feel bad. In one of the linked lectures, a researcher reports that new neurons are formed in the hippocampus for as long as you live. What contributes to neurogenesis (the growth of new neurons) is exercise and learning things. Certainly, it should also mean that if the possibility to learn is removed, the growth of new neurons decreases? Which in turn means that it’s really bad for the brain to lack the fair amount of stimulation.

Working in an environment with too little stimulation is like being forced to cycle very slowly. It will be swaying. Very swaying. An alternative to the difficult slow cycling can be to climb the walls, create problems for yourself or others, or disappear in daydreaming. All in order to ensure that the brain gets some kind of stimulus. So cleverly designed we are that the body tries to make sure to get what is necessary for survival. For example, stimulus for the brain. If the environment can not offer it, the brain will have to make it on its own.

Occasionally I hear the following statement when it comes to learning at your own level at school “Children must learn to be bored too”. In a way I agree, because I do not believe that children, or people at all, should be fed with stimulus all the time. Out of boredom, our own creativity and initiative can grow. However. There is a difference between boring and total lack of stimulus. The purpose of school is to teach students to acquire new knowledge. By definition, you can not learn anything you can already. To sit for the sake of sitting all day long in school is not boring. It is harmful lack of stimulus. And the kind of creativity and initiative that can be awakened in students who lack adequate stimulus is rarely appreciated by the school staff.

It is dangerous for man not to get the necessary stimulus. The children in orphanages in Ceauşescus Romania is an extreme example. Even adult people need the necessary stimulus, emotionally, bodily, socially and intellectually to feel good. A fair amount of stimulation. And a fair amount differs between us all. If we do not get it, we will go under, just as they neglected the children.

Many who have never been feeling bad because of lack of stimulus have difficulty imagining how it can be. They only say it sounds nice.

Have you experienced agony from too little stimulus? In what way and how has it been?

Take care!


The right level of stimulus is different

Addendum: When I would get the relevant links to this post I realized that my knowledge of this is not up to date. Theories that people with high intelligence have more receptors I read about 10 years ago. Over time, this has become a truth to me. It’s crappy to realize that I can not find good scientific articles that clearly reflect what I thought is the truth. I would really like someone who has more current knowledge to share it here. End of the extension.


Our brains therefore need stimulation to work. Impressions that it can process. In a fair amount.

It’s just that “fair amount” differ. For a normal intelligent person, the pace and content of daily activities, adapted for people with mental retardation, would be far too little stimulus. On the contrary, normal work could stress a person with mental retardation.

The distance between what is appropriate stimulus for a person in the middle of the intelligence curve is equally large both to the right-hand end of the curve and to the left end. Highly intelligent people need completely different and more complex stimuli than normal ones. And when it is missing, as in school for my part, the brain gets physically damaged. The communication system gets nothing new to work with and then the same happens with the brain as with the muscles you do not use. It doesn’t feel good.

More receptors
All sensory systems use different types of specialized receptors, which are found everywhere in and on the body in order to gather information. An explanation that gifted need more and other stimulus, is that we probably have more receptors and therefore perceive faster, more nuanced and intense than others.

More receptors lead to increased activity in our communication system and increased activity generates more receptors. Therefore, the receptors become more if you train the brain and the more receptors you have, the better the brain’s functions. The more I learn, the greater the need for new stimulation gets in order to maintain a proper level of brain activity. That’s how it works for everyone.

But a fair level of new to me might be a level that isn’t healthy to others. It’s not always my fair level, when it comes to learning new, is consistent with the pace it is possible to learn new at work. In addition, the “fair level of new” accelerates as the brain’s communication system is being trained. But oh what it is wonderful when it’s possible for the brain to work at a perfect level of new!

How is it for you? How does it feel when you are at your perfect level of stimulus? In what context does it happen?

See you!


Link to the page Brainfact

Here you can find interesting articles about brain research


Marylou Kelly Streznewski “Gifted grownups, the mixed blessing of extraordinary potential” Chapter two, pp. 25-34 provides good and more in-depth information on how the high-intelligent brain works. In this book, I first learned how the brain works. The book explains well, but it has several years on the neck, and the links around research about receptors are deficient. Read the book anyway! The absolute best thing is to get to listen to the over hundred gifted people interviewed by the author. Human experience stands out over time.



Too intelligent?

Can you be too intelligent? And if so, too intelligent for what?
Too intelligent for elementary school?
High School?
The university?
Too intelligent to get a job?
To find friends?
To feel good?
Or too intelligent to be happy?

Most would answer no to all the questions. How could it be too much of something sought after and good as high intelligence? And how could high intelligence bring some disadvantages at all?

Seven, eight years ago I had answered yes to all questions. Partly because I have stumbled upon my intelligence so often, and partly because I saw many children and young people who had major difficulties in school because of it. Difficulties due to the fact that their knowledge base lies well before others at same age, nor do they have social exchange with peers their age.

Nowadays, I know that high intelligence, does not have to be an obstacle. Okay, elementary school and high school are inflexible institutions but that it is possible to find stimulating jobs, make close friends, feel good and being gifted, I know

Content in blog Too intelligent?
This blog addresses you who find that your high intelligence is more an obstacle than an opportunity. The content is not directly rocket surgery, most just basic knowledge. But with a twist. Because there are some differences in how you function as gifted. And those differences you must take into account to be able to feel good and create the life you want.

To feel good it’s important to know yourself, understand how you function as gifted, find fellowship, meaningfulness and live your values. It is also important to understand the environment in which you live.

The first posts I’ll publish will be about what giftedness is, definitions and how high intelligence can express itself. I will provide you with links to scientific articles, thesis and books. If you recognize yourself (you do not need to recognize you in everything – of course we are different as individuals) you are likely to be talented.

Feeling so wrong
To me it was absolutely crucial to understand that I am highly intelligent. And yes, you can live for many years without understanding that about yourself. More than forty years for me. When the results of the IQ test came and I saw that my IQ-level was higher than 99% of the population, I got a shock. A regular shock reaction, with crying attacks, denial, processing and after a long period of time, I accepted it.

Certainly, I had seen signs that I had easier than most to understand and learn. But those signs weighed lightly in relation to the feeling of being wrong as I carried with me since I was little. Maybe it’s for you too? That you most of all feel that something is wrong with you? Or just too different? For some reason you are looking here now.  If someone has hinted you or you found yourself.

My purpose of blog is to provide access to knowledge, experiences, methods and tools that you can benefit from in your life. Small, but perhaps crucial hints on how your life can become more as you wish.

Take care – see you!



The brain needs stimulation

I have been part of a network for parents of gifted children for several years and have been able to share the experiences of other families through the network. Here are quotes from what some of the highly intelligent children said about schooling:

“It’s like sitting and waiting on the bus all day and it never comes.”

“I have read and understood the papers our teacher delivers already before she distributed it to everyone. Then I have to wait and wait until everyone else has understood. It can sometimes take the whole lesson. So I work actively for 30 seconds and then sit bored for 39 min and 30 seconds.”

“All the years I’ve just been listening to things I already can. Imagine if I had learned something instead. Then I would have known a lot now.”

Bus stop

I recognize what the children expresses. To me it took many years before I realized that my high intelligence had to do with the matter. For a long time I was only convinced that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. Because I understood that the others worked differently. It felt a bit like being surrounded by turtles.


Easy to like but slow. A little indolent. Satisfied with the explanations they received and did not seem to want to know more. Like they were not particularly curious. And I rarely understood what was difficult with what they said was difficult. However, I understood that they were as one would be. They were turtles. I was more a bouncing duck.

How can we work so differently?
How can that, what is the right work pace for many, be a single long wait to others? The short answer is that it depends on our brains. Depending on how our brains work, we need information in different amount and speed.

In order to understand what is happening around us, the brain needs information from the environment. It also needs information on what is going on in different parts of our body. The gathering of information is done by means of the different senses. The perception of the outside world is based on differences. Differences we get through our senses. A t-shirt does not feel the same as a flannel shirt against the skin. The cat’s spinning is different from the refrigerator’s low buzz. Chocolate with 72% cocoa flavor tastes different to one with 80% cocoa. Even small differences are perceived.

Is there no difference to perceive, there is nothing for the brain to process. Is there no new impression to sense, is everything status quo, our advanced communication system can not work. Place a person in a completely white room, without sound and without anything that differs from the white one, and it won’t be long before her brain gets big problems. Things that one can usually do automatically, distance assessment, color perception and reading ability can stop working. Please check out the movie clip I linked below. It is a well-known experiment about what happens when the brain is deprived of all stimulus.

When the brain lacks stimulus
For me it was like that, for a great part of school time. I found nothing new to process.

  • Imagine watching concentrated on a dot on the wall
  • Look so concentrated that everything around gets blurred
  • Finally, the dot you focused on gets blurred too.
  • Focusing on nothing becomes blurred

As in the lessons. It was almost possible to hear how the brain shut down. It would rattle and buzz for a while. Then it became completely quiet. The buzzing from the electrical signals in the brain had ended and I entered a state of emptiness. In one way, it was nice when the brain was extinguished. The perception of time ceased and the school became bearable. The downside was that it took several hours to wake up after the school day. A little like getting started a projector. You press the start button, but it takes time for the lamp to warm up before it starts to shine.

Closing the brain is no healthy way to deal with the situation. Instead, some gifted children choose to create the stimulus the brain need by themselves. Daydreaming can work to a certain limit. Start a quarrel, with classmates or teachers can be another way to get something to happen. It is healthier because the brain gets impressions to process, but in the long run it isn’t very constructive either.

What happens to you when you suffer from too little stimulation? Is it primarily in school it has happened or does it happen in other contexts as well?



Links about what happens when man is deprived of stimulus

More to read:
Marylou Kelly Streznewski ”Gifted grownups, the mixed blessing of extraordinary potential” Chapter 2, pp. 25 – 34 provides good and more in-depth information on how the high-intelligent brain works


Five tips for you who are gifted and have a hard time

But where are the tips, tools and methods that I declared should be in the blog? My thought has been that they will come a bit at a time. As I go into more detail in different domains, you will get more practical tools for those areas. However, you don’t have to wait too long for the promised, I’ll give you five tips today. Tips I’ve carried with me during the many stumbling years.

Before it’s time for tips, I’ll tell you about the blog structure. It’s both the practical tips and the composite whole of experience and knowledge you can benefit from. The blog is divided into five different areas.

The backpack
Wherever you go, jump or stand you have yourself with you. Like a backpack. It’s important to know what you have in your backpack and the first section are devoted to looking at giftedness, from every possible point of view. It’s essential to know how and why you function as you do. When you have lifted up and twisted and turned the parts of your luggage, it is easier to pack them in a more convenient and hiking-friendly manner. It may also turn out to be some heavy things you do not have to bring anymore. You can throw them away and move on easier.

Under the stars
Only you know what you dream about and what you value in life. To feel satisfaction, we need to live in harmony with our values. In the second section, I’ll show how you can do to dream freely. How you can do to find out your values, not just those you want and believe you have, but also those underlying the surface and affect your life choices.

Around the campfire
Necessary for my well-being has been to find people I can have mutual relationships with. Find the people who can be my friends. It does not matter if it’s 2-3 people or 20-30 people. It’s the recognition and understanding in the eyes of others that are important. I have usually preferred to be to myself, but I have learned about and experienced the importance of relationships with others who are gifted. Still I want to be alone, but now I’m looking for friends around the campfire more often.

Map and compass
To get the life you want to live, it’s a must to understand how the outside world works. It’s in the meeting with the outside world I’ve stumbled the most. I have not been able to read the terrain from the map I have had. Or if it’s just my compass that is calibrated differently than others, but I’m learning! If you learn to navigate around the world, your possibilities to live in harmony with your values increases.

Hiking boots on
Life can not live only in the head. Just as the body and the brain need stimulation to function, life needs movement to be able to live. Then at what rate you go, in what way, in what direction, it’s your choice. The good thing about life is that fastest, farthest and most, does not win in terms of satisfaction with life. You have all the conceivable choices for how you want to live your life. In this part of the blog, I will give tips, advice and also encourage you to take those first steps in the direction you want to go.

The structure is supposed to be something like this. Although after the first episode was published, I received feedback and questions about areas that I initially did not intend to address. If you will continue to give feedback, which I hope, the five different sections will be developed if needed.

Five tips for those of you who are struggling right now
These are advice I carry with me and remind myself of often.

  1. One day at a time. Today you can handle. Tomorrow is another day. I rest on the one-day-at-time-strategy that works for so many alcoholics and addicts. If it works for them to stay sober, it can work for me as well. Today I can handle.
  2. Stick to the lights in your life. Is there anything in your life that makes you feel better? Which gives stimulus? Joy? Or who in any case distracts so much that time passes? Stick to it. If it’s to play Civ, go long walks in the woods, or watch the all episodes of Netflix series doesn’t matter. See also the weakest of light in your life and let it shine for you.
  3. One worry at a time. Do you have much that worries you? Make a bullet list on a piece of paper. No essays or ruminating. Only short words. Then remove the paper. Now your consciousness has understood that you know everything you worry about and do not need to remind you all the time. Now you have given yourself some breathing space.
  4. Take ONE minimal step. Perhaps the small step in change may be to read the blog. Stick to the little hope that my story can bring. Minimal steps may look different, but regardless of the slightness, they mean change. Do not stay in bed in the morning but move to the couch and lie there. It’s a step. Opening the window and breathing outdoor air is one step. Take a minimal step. It is enough.
  5. Be kind to yourself! Do to yourself as you may treat someone you like. Be kind.

Take care. See you!



Tomorrow is another day….

The note on our fridge (if you can read the writing…)

The note on our fridge (if you can read the writing...)


Gifted – definitions

Knowing what gifted is and how high intelligence works is a prerequisite for understanding yourself.

There are different definitions and their differences are largely due to the fact that they have been developed in different research environments and with different purposes.

The first Swedish definition
The first Swedish definition was created in the 90’s by a psychologist and professor of didactics at Jönköping University, Roland Persson. If I understand everything correctly, the purpose was to put a word on a group of people who had so far been taboo to talk about in research context in Sweden, namely those who have much higher intelligence than the average. The definition could be used to understand which children in preschool and school that belonged to the group. Here’s how Persson’s definition is:

“The one who is gifted amazes you repeatedly with its unusual ability in one or more areas, both in school and in everyday life.” (Persson, 1997) *1

The definition works well, but not on all children who are gifted. There are those who are adept at concealing their intelligence, for example by being rowdy, or deliberately underperforms to fit in or those whose disabilities hide the high intelligence.

I have seen a definition that is used a lot lately, one that is made up of three circles. Only if characteristics from all three rings work together can high achievement or gifted behavior be witnessed. (Renzulli, 1990) * 2

  • Circle 1: Above average ability
    Abstraction, memory, learning, efficiency, verbality, logic, sense of numbers
  • Circle 2: Task Commitment
    Interest, determination, curiosity
  • Circle 3: Creativity
    Flow, originality, problem solving, flexible thinking


General intelligence
When I talk about intelligence, I’m based on what is called general intelligence. Here is a quote from Swedish author Linda Leopold

“Nowadays, intelligence is often described according to a hierarchical model where one considers that the g-factor is believed to be on top. Underneath there are several different general abilities – as verbal, spatial and numerical – which in turn are divided into more specific skills.”(L Leopold, 2013) *3

It is thus that your intelligence is connected to the rest of you and who you are. It affects how you perceive the world and process it. Therefore, your intelligence plays a major role in all areas of life.

I can recommend Leopold’s book Smartast i världen* and especially the chapter about what intelligence is. She goes through the history of intelligence research, diverse explanatory models and how intelligence is usually described.

IQ level – normal distribution
General intelligence is strongly associated with IQ level as measured in different tests. Viewed to the entire population, the intelligence is distributed according to the normal distribution curve. If we had chosen a precisely normalized group of 100 people, their intelligence level had been distributed as follows:

IQ level - normal distribution

In Sweden, intelligence is tested by psychologists in tests called WAIS and in the case of children WISC. In the field of health care, these tests are used only as part of the diagnosis of other, e.g. for neuropsychiatric diagnoses. Likewise within school health care.

If you want to find out your level of intelligence, you can do a supervised test administered by Mensa. Such a test is based on the raven’s matrices and is not as extensive as the tests the psychologists do. It is required that you are good at the test situation and can handle time pressure because the test is time-limited.

Most often people prefer the explanation model that fits their own view of the world, so do I. Therefore, I have done the selections above, and therefore I will adopt the thoughts of general intelligence and the fact that intelligence is normally distributed.

Does not it matter what definition you use? What definition or description do you prefer? If you want to tell me why, please write it below.

See you!


Links to more information about:

Spearman’s theory of general intelligence

Vygotsky’s theory of dynamic development potential

Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligence

Renzulli’s three-piece model that integrates motivation, creativity and high ability

Sternberg’s model that integrates creativity, practical and analytical ability as well as wisdom

Professor Roland Persson, Jönköping University, Collection page with his publications

Mensa IQ-test. Find out how to join Mensa in your country here:


1 Roland Persson (1997) ”Annorlundaland. Särbegåvningens psykologi”
2 Joseph Renzulli (1990). ”The three-ring conception of giftedness: a developmental model for creative productivity.” In R. J. Sternberg & J. E. Davidson (Eds.), Conceptions of giftedness (pp. 53-92). New York: Cambridge University Press.
3 Linda Leopold (2013) ”Smartast i världen, IQ-sällskapen från insidan”



Gifted? No thanks! Not my children

The first time I came into contact with the concept of “gifted” I was just over thirty. One of the teachers at the preschool told me to check it out because my children, as she expressed it, were a little special and not like others, and she recommended that they start school early.

I googled and searched for facts. Found scientific articles and documents on how schools around the world work with Gifted Children. I read articles about high-intelligent people who often ended up in some kind of exclusion, bullying, truancy, depression, difficulties at work, hard to find friends and so on. Research pointed out how important it is for gifted people to get the stimulus they need to feel good at an early age.

Swedish research showed how it is for gifted children to attend school in an equal school system such as Swedish, Norwegian and Danish. The egalitarian school system often confuses the idea of ​​everyone’s equal value and rights with the conviction that everyone should be the same. In combination with the Law of Jante, the result often becomes that those who in one way or another stand out, are forced into the norm. And if they don’t squeeze into the normal, they are punished with exclusion.

It was about me!

The evening and night after I read about gifted children I still remember. Despite the soothing breath of the man who slept next to me, I could not fall asleep. I lay on my back, my eyes followed the slits between the roof panels and the pages I read online were shown in repeat on the white-painted boards. Not word for word, but the content and some of the wordings. Brand new and intrusive thoughts about intelligence. When I closed my eyes to get rid of all I read, unpleasant memories from school time appeared and bothered. And I forgot that what I was reading was about the children. To me everything was about me. It was about me.

I slipped out of bed and tiptoed down the stairs. Cowered on the couch under a blanket and cried. Cried and looped the same thoughts over and over again.
About being gifted.
About the importance of stimulus in early age.
And about the familiar exclusion.

What I came up to during that night (except that it’s stupid to lie on your back and weep, for then you’ll get a kallsup*), were that high intelligence is the genetic rivet. In which case in Jantes Sweden. That night I decided that my children would not have to go through what I had gone through. No way.

Then you may think I started toil to enlighten the world of how gifted children function, work to make school fulfill special needs of my gifted children. But no. The logical conclusion of what I read about the situation for gifted people in Scandinavia, was that in order to have a good childhood here, you need to be normal enough. I decided to train my children to become normal!

I know. Not very smart to believe that you can change people. How can you even want to change your children? They are, as they are. Eventually, I realized that too. High intelligence can’t be disconnected. It’s there. No matter what.

Is this the first time you hear the concept of “gifted”? Or when did you hear it first? What did you think then?

See you!

*Kallsup is the Swedish word for an “involuntary gulp of cold water” which every kid playing in the sea at summertime in Sweden has experienced. “Kall” = cold. “Sup” = strong drink. You cough a lot when getting a “kallsup”.