How do I handle solitariness?

Today the fog is soft over the mountain tops and I’ll stay inside the log cabin. After having been here for a few days, it’s good to record an episode on solitariness. Solitude in general and the loneliness experienced by many gifted in particular.

I have understood by many around me that it’s common to avoid solitude. I have thought of it as a sign of immaturity with others. That they will eventually realize the importance of solitariness and begin to appreciate it. Ha ha! It turned out again that I am the one who has to learn.

The dangers of solitude
In my world, solitude is a healthy basic mode. But when I began to search literature for this episode, I met with completely different messages. Almost all books and scientific articles concerned the dangers of solitude. About the illness it leads to. How the brain is affected and degraded, and how solitude leads to increased mortality.

To be expelled from the flock has been fatal since the beginning of time. Even though we do not risk being eaten by predators now, it is still the same mechanisms that starts in our brains when we get rejected from the group. It signals a danger of life. For example, during bullying. Therefore, exclusion is so harmful to us.

That is information I have not taken in before. Because like most of you, I see, of course, what I want to see. My truth about solitude suited me perfectly. After all I read about loneliness, I have become more likely to balance the self-time with moments of belonging. I hope this episode can help you make use of the solitude you’re probably already familiar with. And courage to venture fellowship too.

Alienation – a usual feeling among gifted
You have probably heard the phrase “It’s better to be alone alone, than to be lonely together with others”. Perhaps my self-chosen solitude can be derived from such experiences. In interviews with gifted people, the feeling of alienation and the difficulty of finding genuine reciprocity, are often described. To me, fellowship has become easier to experience since I learned more about giftedness.

Being alone is still my basic mode. One that I enjoy. I believe in solitude, at the right dose. In relation to others, my right-dose seems to be great.

Discover your inner core with curiosity!
It’s in solitude you can meet your inner core, what you really are. And feeling alone, being alone, is part of what it’s like to be human.

Meet yourself with curiosity. What is there? What thoughts are there? When I’m for myself for several days, like now, I meet most feelings in myself. Feelings of restlessness, meaninglessness, fear, anger, sadness, joy, trust, love, gratitude. Strong feelings, but they pass. Feelings do. I let them arrive without trying to control them. Feel what I feel, and notice what I feel.

A small addition only. It is important not to act on all the feelings that occur. A second addition, if you feel bad, it’s not the best time to get to know your own solitariness. Then closeness or distraction is often better.

Break patterns of isolation
If you feel that you are alone too much, it is important to dare to break those patterns. Only you can break your loneliness. No one else can save you from it. I’m glad to tell that we live in a country with the world’s best conditions for breaking patterns of isolation. The likelihood that in your presence you have people who would like to have company, is sky-high.

If you lack for friendship with other gifted, I recommend the networks that are available. For those over 18, Mensa and Filurum adults is available. You who are younger, need help from your parents or any other adult, to access the networks available to young people.

Being alone is part of being human
If you avoid at all costs being together with yourself, then you will miss a part of who you are. Begin by accepting that solitariness is part of being human. It is said that everyone dies alone. What could be better than having become friends with yourself when you live, to enjoy and be safe in your loneliness?

Outsiders provide perspectives that can not be achieved among the many. Several of the individuals we have had great respect for throughout history have been characterized by an exclusion. There is a different distance per definition, to be able to look from another perspective. So it has been in all times.

Many people we admire for strength, knowledge, integrity and differentity have been characterized by periods of loneliness. Hope the pictures below give you inspiration to embrace and develop your loneliness.

Monks in the mountans

Medicine man

The dangerous Witches

Hermit under his tree

Adventurer, solo sailor

How do you feel loneliness? Have you found ways to handle it? Way to break lonely patterns?

Kindly
Vera

 

More to read

Easily accessible in Swedish about the brain and about loneliness. It summarizes much of contemporary research. Katarina Gospic, 2013, “The Social Brain”

Networks for gifted
Filurum.se
Mensa.org

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Make what’s simple into complicated – so gifted!

Then I’ve done it again! Made what’s complicated just as complicated it can be, when it’s most complicated. Typically gifted. Why scan on the surface and make it easy?!

It is also called to have the elephant attitude. In a job context, it turns out to me in two ways.

The first way is when I get a shapeless lump of a projects in my knee. A project I quickly structure and divide in different parts. The entirety in neat and named parts. After my analysis, it appears that the project is an elephant. I love the process of finding the structure of the mess, the context in the fragmentary, the relevant in the muchness.

I go to my boss and show how I structured the project into an elephant. “It’s good that you see the whole elephant, but it’s supposed to be a pig. Can you make it a pig?” And of course I can. Chop off some here and there, but retains the essential and abracadabra, it’s a pig.

The other way the elephant attitude is noticeable, is that I dislike working with parts of a project if I don’t have full comprehension of the whole first and how my part contributes. It is usually possible to resolve by asking questions. Do not just give me an ear without telling me how the whole elephant looks!

Handle the difficulties with an elephant attitude
So far, the elephant attitude doesn’t matter. Well, well, during the process there is a risk that I will start working in the wrong format. Sometimes I see it myself and can ask if it’s okay that I switch from pig to elephant. Other times, it’s my colleague or manager who reminds me of the size and simplicity of the task.

It is not often the customers want to pay for elephant projects. What I heard from gifted around me, is that a great variety of complex tasks can be found in different professions, industries and organizations. Some people are skilled at creating the conditions themselves to get the complexity they need to have an elephant attitude in their work life. Others learn how to handle the difficulties an elephant attitude can cause at many employers.

Get a hobby elephant
In my work I have the opportunity to work with complex projects but they rarely get as difficult as the elephants. Therefore, it has been important for me to have elephant projects in my spare time. Like this YouTube channel. I’ve been given suggestions to pack it in pig-format, kind of like hotdogs, to make it more sellable, and appealing to many. But then I can not make the project fully as complex. In addition, my purpose is to provide you this bitwise very chewy elephant. To serve you who need elephant meat. Even if you’re the only one listening.

When I prepared the YouTube channel I had a handy plan. All the experience and knowledge I’ve gathered about giftedness, structured into thirty fine delineated chapters. Just like a meat cuts chart. A red thread in the form of a walk. I’ve told you about it in an earlier episode. The whole in neat order.

When the projects begin to live their own life
But then that happens as so often happens when a project goes from theory to practical reality. I end up here. Here where it doesn’t work in accordance with the plan. Because, of course, I discover new things I want to share. And I allow myself to abandon the plan and just share that piece of elephant I want to.

There is still a red thread through everything. This is what it looks like:

The red thread

If you feel sick when you see this, I recommend that you wait a few years to watch episodes. Right now it seems messy. But in the end it will be a clear overall picture. Even though I am currently in the midst of the swirls.

I console myself that I’m not the only one who experiences projects in this way. Do you recognize it? You find out, or get a mission, a well-defined and manageable project. Then when you get into it and discover how wonderfully comprehensive and complex it may be, the target image expands to something astronautically faraway and amazing. And then it became complicated. But you squeeze it into a proper project plan. It’s just that it is not realistic. Too much. Too difficult. In too short time.

Then it is crucial to dare to adjust the target image or project plan. It’s crucial to have a working relationship with your boss and colleagues so that you can ask them for help. Anyway, that’s how I have solved my difficulties. I’ve told them of my elephant attitude and what that means.

Respect the needs of others for meat cuts chart
In job situations, it is usually a prerequisite that you can keep up with the plan. Partly because your manager and your colleagues have to feel safe with the process and partly because there may be reporting requirements in different phases of the plan. It will also be easier for your boss to have an overview if you and other project managers stick to their plans. And if you find it difficult, ask for help. Tell where you need support, be clear about it, and that usually facilitate cooperation.

Avoid to lessen others – ask for help
The elephant attitude can cause difficulties in school as well. Perhaps you can explain to your teacher how you work? Say that you have to make the task complicated enough, like an elephant, to make it interesting. Ask what the purpose of the assignment is and how it is part of the whole you’re about to learn. Then maybe together with your teacher you can decide a way to show that you learned what the task was aimed at? It is important not to disparage the teacher’s task, but instead turn it around, ask for help and explain what you need, to do it. The book “The Gifted Teen Survival Guide” contains many tangible and useful tips. Do not be fooled by that silly title. I’ve benefited from it the past year, even though I’m not even a teenager.

Below, I have linked an article about gifted people in working life. It is written by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, a clinical psychologist and consultant to schools in Minnesota.

If you are ok with the roller-coaster ride along the red thread – see you next time!

For those of you who prefer perfect structure – see you in a few years!

Kindly
Vera

 

More interesting to read

Article about gifted adults in working life “If Only I Had Known: Lessons from Gifted Adults” Mary-Elaine Jacobsen
http://tip.duke.edu/node/919

“The Gifted Teen Survival Guide: Smart, Sharp, and Ready for (Almost) Anything”, September 7, 2011
Judy Galbraith M.A. (Author), Ph.D. Jim Delisle (Author)
https://www.amazon.com/Gifted-Teen-Survival-Guide-Anything/dp/1575423812

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The Genius battle*, IQ, Mensa, compound eyes and stuff

“Hi fly girl” said the stranger.
“I’m not a fly. I’m a Girl ”
“You’ve got compound eyes just like flies have. Then you’re a fly-girl. Like me.”

A little later. And to another person.
“Compound eyes? These are those nasty eyes that flies and insects have. Such nobody wants to have?”

Compound eyes – compound eyes – compound eyes. An echo that bounces back to you wherever you go. Compound eyes. Once you’ve heard it enough times, you find out more. “Compound eyes make the wearer able to see more nuances and faster than others. They work so that the wearer can see everything happening without turning her head.” And some evenings in front of the mirror, you’ll see something similar to compound eyes and you wonder “am I a fly-girl?”

Time goes by. And you hear the echo sometimes. Compound eyes.

Someday, something flickers in the sunlight and lands with shimmering wings next to you. By that time, you’re used to your compound eyes and see when others have them, saying “Hello butterfly-boy”
“Hello fly-girl”
“What beautiful wings you’ve got”
“You have that too. But they only appears when you use them.”
“But I can not fly. It’s just that I’ve got compound eyes.”
“With compound eyes, wings always follow. You can fly.”

Then you see how the butterfly-boy unfolds the wings and stretches for your hand.

Do you dare to trust that you also have wings, just like the other fly- and butterfly-people you met with?

For me it took time. The first time I met the members of the local Mensa association, I noticed how easy it was to hang out. Not having to limit the mental field of view, not having to constrain the nuances of the analyzes or the speed of the arguments to be understood.

Everyone around the table at the Chinese restaurant had compound eyes. This meant that we could talk about everything that happened around us and no one had to turn his head to understand. Nobody thought it was strange that the conversation jumped rapidly from topic to topic, and that so many conversations could run parallel in a single conversation.

On my way home, I walked with enamored, lightly steps. None of us seven who had met shared specific interests, acquaintances, occupational roles or life situations. Nevertheless, I felt that instant understanding, which came from the fact that they had compound eyes and also perceived the world in a different way than most others do.

When we had known each other for a while, I dared to try my wings. My kind of flying does not resemble any of what they do in the Genius battle on tv. Had someone told me after the first episode of the Genius battle, that these are typical fly- and butterfly-people, that it is how high intelligence turns out, then I had not seen anything of myself in them. Then I hadn’t seen that we have the compound eyes in common.

Yet by meeting a lot of gifted people, I have seen that our wings look different and I became confident in that if my fly- and butterfly-friends can fly, I can do that too.

Perhaps it’s the friendship with other gifted you will dream big and free about? You do remember to exercise and priming yourself, do you? What I talked about in episode 15. Below I’ve linked to a few pages where you can read stories of others who are gifted. There is also a link to an interesting article about compound eyes.

Continue exercising on dreaming! Later on I will give you tangible advice on how to use your new priming skills to experience what you’re dreaming about. Maybe it’s friendship you are looking for?

Take care!
Vera

 

*The Genius battle (Genikampen) is a Swedish entertainment program that has been produced by the Swedish national public TV broadcaster (SVT) since 2014. Some of Sweden’s geniuses meet in a unique contest where only one’s ability to use the brain plays a role.

Link to article about facet eyes:

http://www.dn.se/nyheter/vetenskap/insekter-har-ogon-for-farger/

Links to pages of stories from other gifted adults:

https://rainforestmind.wordpress.com/

https://christinefonseca.wordpress.com/

http://www.filurum.se/berattelser-fran-vuxna-sarbegavade/

Other links:
Mensa

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“Too much” it’s just the way it’s supposed to be

The episode I published last week, the school principal’s speech, got such a spread and amazing response, which I couldn’t have reckon. What I understand is that there are more hearts than mine that beats in harmony with those who struggle.

The response started up a tombola of emotion into me. Deep joy, gratitude, expectation, fear of influencing and saying wrong things, the desire to compete and see what I can find to get even more spread, and I end up in performance anxiety.

Again, I remind you that the advice I give you is the advice I need to hear. All the material I publish is what I wanted to say to the younger version of me. Obviously, I need to hear the advice even now.

My advice then? (from the episode about performance anxiety)

  1. What’s the purpose of what you want to achieve? Well, it’s not getting as many viewers on YouTube as possible, even though the response of the previous episode triggers that ambition in me. The purpose is that you who are gifted and struggling, would get some kind of benefit and enjoyment of what I share.
  2. Lower the bar. I wonder what the mechanisms are that make me always want to raise the bar? Lower. Lower. Lower. Damn, it’s that difficult!
  3. Refuse now or never! Just the advice I needed to hear. There are more chances to jump at.
  4. Just do it! Ok. Here comes the episode:

“Too much” it’s just the way it’s supposed to be
Whether you’re told that you’re too sensitive, too fast, too intense, think too much, have too much energy or feel too strong, it’s not true. For all you are and all you feel is ok to be and feel. Just as much as it’s impossible to request someone to feel more, if that someone isn’t able to feel more than she does, nobody can say you should be less intense when it comes to one thing and another. However, it is not always smart to react based on how it feels. But that’s another matter and I’ll delve deeper into that later. What you feel is okay. How you feel is ok.

Being “too much” can simply be a part of what it is to be highly intelligent. See previous episode “You are just too much!”

Trust your own feelings – they are yours
Knowing yourself is a foundation for building the life you want. It’s a part of what’s in your backpack, which you carry with you. Knowing how you function as gifted is another part of what you have in your backpack. To know how you feel and to trust your own feelings is basic and something you carry with you too.

When it comes to this, I have understood that people are different. Some people know their own feelings well and have always done that in an obvious way. I learned early that if my feelings differed from others in a given context, it was the experience of others that was the true one. They were more. Nowadays I have more self-esteem and can often find that I and others experience and feel different and rest in that it’s ok. It’s ok to feel in different ways and it makes neither my nor other’s feelings less true.

Accept what you feel
It’s only when you’re aware of how you feel, you can choose to accept that you feel like you do. And acceptance of how you feel is part of liking yourself. In terms of self-esteem, the author Petra Krantz Lindgren has described it so well. Quote from her book can be found further down.

3 initial steps on the road towards enjoying being “too much”

  1. Get to know your feelings. Observe yourself. Take notes or use voice recorder on your cell phone. When you are more intense – how does it feel in the body? What thoughts and wishes do you get? Put words on the feelings. Or do flow charts, mind maps, comic strip or photo collages that describe how it feels for you. Or find the perfect mathematical formula for what you experience. In order to be able to observe yourself in this way, you need to decide not to act on the basis of your feelings. Just observe and study.
  2. Accept that you feel, think and experience as you do. Whether it’s a feeling you think is good or not. For all the feelings you experience are there, and those you least want to be aware of, are often the ones who chafe the most. Accept those feelings too. Accepting is about acknowledge that the feeling is there, not evaluate it, just letting it be there.
  3. Surround yourself with others who also have strong intensities. As long as you are the only one being gifted in your environment, it can be difficult to trust your own feelings. This because your feelings might be so intense compared to most others. In an environment where your way of being is perceived as the normal, it may be easier for you to affirm the whole of you. Then, if possible, find other gifted to meet.

Does it sound commonplace? The fact is that it works. When I first asked other gifted how they had done to not feel like UFOs all the time, several responded that they like being UFOs and that it’s only about accepting themselves. Easy for them, I thought. They had never felt as weird as I did. Nevertheless, I began to do as they said.

And maybe others think I’m still too much. But I have begun feeling that I am completely as I should be.

Are you urged not to feel like you do? Do you dare to trust your feelings? How have you worked to accept your intensities? Please share your experience and comment below.

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Vera

Ps. I lowered the bar by just making one recording and publishing it, although in my opinion it was not perfect. But published it is, and then I reach the purpose.

“No, I do not look down, I look up to the sky.” Laleh

More interesting to read

Petra Krantz Lindgren “Nurturing Childrens Self-Esteem”
The whole book is very good and I have had great use of it. Read Chapter 1. Self-esteem! Here is a quote from the beginning of Chapter 1 that simply and accurately describes self-esteem. The quote is translated by me from Swedish.

“I assume that self-esteem consists of two dimensions. The first dimension holds awareness of myself: about my abilities, my thoughts, my feelings, my needs, my desire and my dreams. The second dimension is about what acceptance I have for what I know about myself. A person with healthy self-esteem accepts herself and likes herself, just as she is. She feels she is good enough, with all her thoughts, emotions and needs. With all her desire and longing. With all her strengths, but also with her weaknesses.”

Here is a link to Petra Krantz Lindgren’s web “Another You”

David A Sousa “Some Strategies for Working with Students Who Exhibit Overaxcitabilities”
Read pages 38 – 41! Although the text addresses teachers, I think that you may benefit from reading it. The entire chapter is very interesting.
Link to the book the text is taken from
David A Sousa “How the Gifted Brain Learns”

 

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Thousand thoughts and no one comes out

What is published here, is based on how I function as gifted, even though I know that everyone who is gifted doesn’t function as I do. Among other things, when it comes to the speed of thoughts and speech and this with being “too much” that I mentioned in a previous episode. There are those where it is not visible or heard as much on the outside, what is going on inside. Below is an example of a situation where the difference can be clear.

Thinks of more steps than others
To my colleagues and my boss, I have explained how I function during problem solving or idea generation in group. It sounded like this when I explained “You know at a meeting where we sit and talk about something. Meanwhile someone talks, you can think of a couple of steps forward, based on what that person says. When the person has finished talking, one could say what you thought and the others around the table have sometimes thought about similar paths, or a couple of steps in another direction.

When we sit and talk, my thoughts rush off, not just two or three steps but maybe seven, eight steps. And then when I open my mouth and say how I think the eighth step, it will be for most completely unrelated. Although in my mind there is a red thread that leads to what I say.

When this happens, that I say something that cannot be understood based on what we are talking about, tell me! Tell me so that I can try to explain step by step.” A lot of times, colleagues have done so, and then it works for me to work in a group.

Careful thinking of everything takes time
There are gifted people who, unlike me, want to consider all the options carefully before commenting the subject. Based on a question raised at a meeting, they can find that there are ten possible solutions to it. Not only that. They also think of every possible solution from ten different perspectives. Weighs pros and cons. Thinking through the consequences. Then when they thought about all the options, they go through everything again to make sure they did not forget any aspect.

This means that when most people have thought about a few options, the person has carefully gone through ten times ten options. Thoroughly. A statement from such a person is really thought out. If he or she gets the opportunity to say so. That is if the discussion haven’t already gone on to other topics.

Being a person who considers subjects so thoroughly must sometimes be annoying. Especially as quickly and loudly, are often rewarded in meetings. Imagine yourself thinking about the matter more than everyone else and you will not be able to say what you have come up with. Or if it’s already made a decision that you know wont work. Or what it’s like to be such a person?

Are you gifted and work in that way? How is it? For me it’s hard to imagine how it may be, so please describe! I want to understand. What do you think is the best thing about functioning as you do?

See you!
Vera

 

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You’re just too much!

“You’re just too much!” I’ve heard that comment in all sorts of variants. “Stop being so enthusiastic!” “You can’t feel for everything.” “No one else cares about it.” “But it wasn’t that remarkable.” A lot of comments sometimes combined with rolling their eyes and deep sighs.

And I feel that I usually hold myself back. Should I express how I really feel, what they called my enthusiasm, would appear to be pale. And the pace I adjust to. Most people have no idea that it feels to me like the rabbit in Disney’s movie about the sloth (linked below).

When I started reading on giftedness and taking part of the experience of others, I understood that it is quite common to be “too much” when being gifted. One possible explanation may be what psychiatrist and psychologist Kazimerz Dabrowski calls overexitabilities. In Swedish, you usually translate it into intensities.

Five intensities
Dabrowski divided the intensities into five areas. The explanations below are my interpretations of what I read.

  1. Intellectual intensity. An intense attention and curiosity. An urge to understand how things work. Intellectual intensity is not the same as intellectual ability. Intensity is rather the engine that drives the gifted to want to know more and constantly learning new.
  2. Psychomotor intensity. The energy of the body that makes it necessary to be in motion. A capacity to be physically active and more energetic than most. It is seen in motion patterns, how you talk, sit, eat. In all physically there is a greater intensity.
  3. Sensual intensity. Increased sensitivity of all the senses. Which makes everything feel, hear, smell, taste and look more.
  4. Intensity in fantasy / visualization. Higher ability to imagine what’s not yet created, associate freely, daydream and visualize, and to “disappear” in other thoughts.
  5. Emotional intensity. Intense feelings of joy and concern, extreme heights and valleys emotionally. Greater responsiveness to small shades.

HSP – highly sensitive persons
Some of the intensities are in line with what is called “High Sensitive Person” HSP. This is an area I haven’t read much about, but it often appears in talks with gifted people who say HSP gave them new insights.

Have you heard or felt that you are too much in different ways? Do you hold yourself back? Or not?

See you!
Vera

 

Link to more information about Dabrowski’s overexitabilities
http://sengifted.org/overexcitability-and-the-gifted/

With the link below I have not said that my pace is more right than anyone else’s. Just that we have different pace:

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Dangerous with too little stimulus

If there isn’t enough new learning, the stimulus sinks below a critical level and you begin to feel bad. In one of the linked lectures, a researcher reports that new neurons are formed in the hippocampus for as long as you live. What contributes to neurogenesis (the growth of new neurons) is exercise and learning things. Certainly, it should also mean that if the possibility to learn is removed, the growth of new neurons decreases? Which in turn means that it’s really bad for the brain to lack the fair amount of stimulation.

Working in an environment with too little stimulation is like being forced to cycle very slowly. It will be swaying. Very swaying. An alternative to the difficult slow cycling can be to climb the walls, create problems for yourself or others, or disappear in daydreaming. All in order to ensure that the brain gets some kind of stimulus. So cleverly designed we are that the body tries to make sure to get what is necessary for survival. For example, stimulus for the brain. If the environment can not offer it, the brain will have to make it on its own.

Occasionally I hear the following statement when it comes to learning at your own level at school “Children must learn to be bored too”. In a way I agree, because I do not believe that children, or people at all, should be fed with stimulus all the time. Out of boredom, our own creativity and initiative can grow. However. There is a difference between boring and total lack of stimulus. The purpose of school is to teach students to acquire new knowledge. By definition, you can not learn anything you can already. To sit for the sake of sitting all day long in school is not boring. It is harmful lack of stimulus. And the kind of creativity and initiative that can be awakened in students who lack adequate stimulus is rarely appreciated by the school staff.

It is dangerous for man not to get the necessary stimulus. The children in orphanages in Ceauşescus Romania is an extreme example. Even adult people need the necessary stimulus, emotionally, bodily, socially and intellectually to feel good. A fair amount of stimulation. And a fair amount differs between us all. If we do not get it, we will go under, just as they neglected the children.

Many who have never been feeling bad because of lack of stimulus have difficulty imagining how it can be. They only say it sounds nice.

Have you experienced agony from too little stimulus? In what way and how has it been?

Take care!
Vera

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The right level of stimulus is different

Addendum: When I would get the relevant links to this post I realized that my knowledge of this is not up to date. Theories that people with high intelligence have more receptors I read about 10 years ago. Over time, this has become a truth to me. It’s crappy to realize that I can not find good scientific articles that clearly reflect what I thought is the truth. I would really like someone who has more current knowledge to share it here. End of the extension.

 

Our brains therefore need stimulation to work. Impressions that it can process. In a fair amount.

It’s just that “fair amount” differ. For a normal intelligent person, the pace and content of daily activities, adapted for people with mental retardation, would be far too little stimulus. On the contrary, normal work could stress a person with mental retardation.

The distance between what is appropriate stimulus for a person in the middle of the intelligence curve is equally large both to the right-hand end of the curve and to the left end. Highly intelligent people need completely different and more complex stimuli than normal ones. And when it is missing, as in school for my part, the brain gets physically damaged. The communication system gets nothing new to work with and then the same happens with the brain as with the muscles you do not use. It doesn’t feel good.

More receptors
All sensory systems use different types of specialized receptors, which are found everywhere in and on the body in order to gather information. An explanation that gifted need more and other stimulus, is that we probably have more receptors and therefore perceive faster, more nuanced and intense than others.

More receptors lead to increased activity in our communication system and increased activity generates more receptors. Therefore, the receptors become more if you train the brain and the more receptors you have, the better the brain’s functions. The more I learn, the greater the need for new stimulation gets in order to maintain a proper level of brain activity. That’s how it works for everyone.

But a fair level of new to me might be a level that isn’t healthy to others. It’s not always my fair level, when it comes to learning new, is consistent with the pace it is possible to learn new at work. In addition, the “fair level of new” accelerates as the brain’s communication system is being trained. But oh what it is wonderful when it’s possible for the brain to work at a perfect level of new!

How is it for you? How does it feel when you are at your perfect level of stimulus? In what context does it happen?

See you!
Vera

 

Link to the page Brainfact
http://www.brainfacts.org/

Here you can find interesting articles about brain research

 

Reference
Marylou Kelly Streznewski “Gifted grownups, the mixed blessing of extraordinary potential” Chapter two, pp. 25-34 provides good and more in-depth information on how the high-intelligent brain works. In this book, I first learned how the brain works. The book explains well, but it has several years on the neck, and the links around research about receptors are deficient. Read the book anyway! The absolute best thing is to get to listen to the over hundred gifted people interviewed by the author. Human experience stands out over time.

 

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Too intelligent?

Can you be too intelligent? And if so, too intelligent for what?
Too intelligent for elementary school?
High School?
The university?
Too intelligent to get a job?
To find friends?
To feel good?
Or too intelligent to be happy?

Most would answer no to all the questions. How could it be too much of something sought after and good as high intelligence? And how could high intelligence bring some disadvantages at all?

Seven, eight years ago I had answered yes to all questions. Partly because I have stumbled upon my intelligence so often, and partly because I saw many children and young people who had major difficulties in school because of it. Difficulties due to the fact that their knowledge base lies well before others at same age, nor do they have social exchange with peers their age.

Nowadays, I know that high intelligence, does not have to be an obstacle. Okay, elementary school and high school are inflexible institutions but that it is possible to find stimulating jobs, make close friends, feel good and being gifted, I know

Content in blog Too intelligent?
This blog addresses you who find that your high intelligence is more an obstacle than an opportunity. The content is not directly rocket surgery, most just basic knowledge. But with a twist. Because there are some differences in how you function as gifted. And those differences you must take into account to be able to feel good and create the life you want.

To feel good it’s important to know yourself, understand how you function as gifted, find fellowship, meaningfulness and live your values. It is also important to understand the environment in which you live.

The first posts I’ll publish will be about what giftedness is, definitions and how high intelligence can express itself. I will provide you with links to scientific articles, thesis and books. If you recognize yourself (you do not need to recognize you in everything – of course we are different as individuals) you are likely to be talented.

Feeling so wrong
To me it was absolutely crucial to understand that I am highly intelligent. And yes, you can live for many years without understanding that about yourself. More than forty years for me. When the results of the IQ test came and I saw that my IQ-level was higher than 99% of the population, I got a shock. A regular shock reaction, with crying attacks, denial, processing and after a long period of time, I accepted it.

Certainly, I had seen signs that I had easier than most to understand and learn. But those signs weighed lightly in relation to the feeling of being wrong as I carried with me since I was little. Maybe it’s for you too? That you most of all feel that something is wrong with you? Or just too different? For some reason you are looking here now.  If someone has hinted you or you found yourself.

My purpose of blog is to provide access to knowledge, experiences, methods and tools that you can benefit from in your life. Small, but perhaps crucial hints on how your life can become more as you wish.

Take care – see you!
Vera

 

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The brain needs stimulation

I have been part of a network for parents of gifted children for several years and have been able to share the experiences of other families through the network. Here are quotes from what some of the highly intelligent children said about schooling:

“It’s like sitting and waiting on the bus all day and it never comes.”

“I have read and understood the papers our teacher delivers already before she distributed it to everyone. Then I have to wait and wait until everyone else has understood. It can sometimes take the whole lesson. So I work actively for 30 seconds and then sit bored for 39 min and 30 seconds.”

“All the years I’ve just been listening to things I already can. Imagine if I had learned something instead. Then I would have known a lot now.”

Bus stop

I recognize what the children expresses. To me it took many years before I realized that my high intelligence had to do with the matter. For a long time I was only convinced that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. Because I understood that the others worked differently. It felt a bit like being surrounded by turtles.

Turtle

Easy to like but slow. A little indolent. Satisfied with the explanations they received and did not seem to want to know more. Like they were not particularly curious. And I rarely understood what was difficult with what they said was difficult. However, I understood that they were as one would be. They were turtles. I was more a bouncing duck.

How can we work so differently?
How can that, what is the right work pace for many, be a single long wait to others? The short answer is that it depends on our brains. Depending on how our brains work, we need information in different amount and speed.

In order to understand what is happening around us, the brain needs information from the environment. It also needs information on what is going on in different parts of our body. The gathering of information is done by means of the different senses. The perception of the outside world is based on differences. Differences we get through our senses. A t-shirt does not feel the same as a flannel shirt against the skin. The cat’s spinning is different from the refrigerator’s low buzz. Chocolate with 72% cocoa flavor tastes different to one with 80% cocoa. Even small differences are perceived.

Is there no difference to perceive, there is nothing for the brain to process. Is there no new impression to sense, is everything status quo, our advanced communication system can not work. Place a person in a completely white room, without sound and without anything that differs from the white one, and it won’t be long before her brain gets big problems. Things that one can usually do automatically, distance assessment, color perception and reading ability can stop working. Please check out the movie clip I linked below. It is a well-known experiment about what happens when the brain is deprived of all stimulus.

When the brain lacks stimulus
For me it was like that, for a great part of school time. I found nothing new to process.

  • Imagine watching concentrated on a dot on the wall
  • Look so concentrated that everything around gets blurred
  • Finally, the dot you focused on gets blurred too.
  • Focusing on nothing becomes blurred

As in the lessons. It was almost possible to hear how the brain shut down. It would rattle and buzz for a while. Then it became completely quiet. The buzzing from the electrical signals in the brain had ended and I entered a state of emptiness. In one way, it was nice when the brain was extinguished. The perception of time ceased and the school became bearable. The downside was that it took several hours to wake up after the school day. A little like getting started a projector. You press the start button, but it takes time for the lamp to warm up before it starts to shine.

Closing the brain is no healthy way to deal with the situation. Instead, some gifted children choose to create the stimulus the brain need by themselves. Daydreaming can work to a certain limit. Start a quarrel, with classmates or teachers can be another way to get something to happen. It is healthier because the brain gets impressions to process, but in the long run it isn’t very constructive either.

What happens to you when you suffer from too little stimulation? Is it primarily in school it has happened or does it happen in other contexts as well?

Kindly
Vera

 

Links about what happens when man is deprived of stimulus

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140514-how-extreme-isolation-warps-minds

More to read:
Marylou Kelly Streznewski ”Gifted grownups, the mixed blessing of extraordinary potential” Chapter 2, pp. 25 – 34 provides good and more in-depth information on how the high-intelligent brain works

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